False Claims And Hard Work

Sometimes things come out of nowhere.  Whether the are enjoyable, miserable, somewhere in between or completely neutral, they can come as a complete surprise.

For example, my wife and I were talking late last night.  At this point in the evening, we would discuss things about our day, talk about things we need to remember to do the following day, etc.  Those are the expected.  However, last night, we got into a discussion about what it would be like if plants had feelings.  More specifically, what if the fruits, vegetables and herbs in our kitchen had feelings.  We wondered if they would want to be eaten or if they would rather be left alone to spoil.  Because if they have feelings, then it would probably hurt to get eaten.  On the other hand, if they were left alone, they would have no purpose and live a forgotten life.

I know what you’re thinking, “Man, plants with feelings would have a tough existence.”

Or…maybe you’re thinking my wife and I have strange conversations late at night.

Either way, the point is that this was unexpected.  I had no plans of discussing the what-if’s of emoting plants, and I’m pretty sure Kat didn’t either.

All this is to say the unexpected often comes out of nowhere.  (Get it?  It HAS to come out of nowhere…because it’s unexpected.  See that’s why it’s funny is because it’s redundant.  Oh, nevermind…)

Anyway, this long and seemingly pointless introduction (aside form letting you in on the often strange conversations Kat and I have) is to say that while things can often be unexpected, sometimes what you thought would happen is exactly what happens.

Case in point: In the last week of September, it came out that Reebok was set to pay a $25 million settlement for false claims on its toning shoes.

That’s right, apparently the “revolutionary” technology of using “micro instability” to strengthen your calves, butt, hamstrings and thighs whilst you amble through the mall trying to find the Cinnabon (because you’ve earned it with all this exercise!) has no scientific support.

Reebok’s settlement includes refunding customers their money, but also included these stipulations:

Reebok cannot:

  • make claims that toning shoes and other toning apparel are effective in strengthening muscles, or that using the footwear will result in a specific percentage or amount of muscle toning or strengthening, unless the claims are true and backed by scientific evidence;
  • make any health or fitness-related efficacy claims for toning shoes and other toning apparel unless the claims are true and backed by scientific evidence; and
  • misrepresent any tests, studies, or research results regarding toning shoes and other toning apparel.

Isn’t it amazing that it takes legal action to make sure a company doesn’t flat out lie to it’s consumers?

There is a host of scientific reasons as to why toning shoes do not hold up to their claims (and yes, I’m talking about ALL toning shoes, not just Reebok’s), but rather than get into the specifics, I’ll just say-they don’t work.

At all.

In any way.

I don’t care what anyone says, they do not work.

Getting a strong and lean butt and legs takes a lot of hard work, both in the gym and the kitchen.  You don’t get to throw on a pair of shoes, stroll around and suddenly rock your bikini bottoms.  Sorry, but it ain’t gonna happen.

Those who enjoy the benefits of living in the bodies they’ve always wanted are those who have adopted an entire lifestyle of health and wellness.  They’ve made strong, firm commitments to choices that are often difficult, but lead them towards their goals rather than away from them.

I realize you will most likely be ridiculed by people who should support you for having self control.  And you may be the office pariah for not stuffing your face with doughnuts just because it’s someones birthday, a holiday, or because Suzie’s nephew got his first base hit in T-ball.  But at least you wont spend your life chasing the ever-elusive body transformation, blaming it on your genes and finally giving into the false idea that this is the way it will always be.

No, you’ll be the one who the toning shoe wearing, celebrating every little thing with doughnuts and cake, 8 minute ab performing, Shake Weight-ing people will envy.  But with a little bit of luck, you just might bring a few of them over to the dark side.

May the force be with you.


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